Lorri - New Jersey - USA

A Funny Thing Happened While In England...

I Rediscovered me

At the doors of British Airways at Newark International Airport, I said goodbye to my husband, Michael and son, Kristoffer. As I looked back, I saw the worry and concern in their eyes. Once checked in and brought to the waiting area, I thought back to how this journey  came to be.

    Since being diagnosed March 25th 1999, I had slowly let go of my independence, and self confidence.  I had seen the invitation to Jooly's Tenth Birthday Party but had never entertained the thought of attending.  This past Spring, I hosted the New Jersey JJ MS get together. The get together was an amazing success thanks to all who had travelled far and wide to meet and make it a fun weekend. As the weekend was coming to a close, a few were not leaving until the following day.  My husband and I invited those staying to our home for a barbeque. Sitting in the back garden, Jaydee (Brian), his wife Mary, Mel and Ronnie, James (Ikey) and his wife, Jane, Nique, Chuck and his parents, Jenn (peanut) and her family all seemed to be enjoying themselves. The conversation naturally included the celebration to be held in Birmingham. Mel, Ronnie, Ikey and Jane could not believe that I had no intentions of flying to England for the party.  They, with good reason didn't see why I wasn't capable of travelling and convinced me I could make the trip.  The next hurdle would be convincing my husband.  Ronnie, now known as "Michael's English Gal" spoke to Michael along with Ikey. Michael seeing these people were more than folks meeting in a chat room, but truly caring and good friends grew to trust them. The conclusion... I was flying to England for the JJ Birthday Party.

Upon boarding the plane, I was not nervous, but rather excited. Looking around at the other passengers I sensed  to them this  flight was rather uneventful, but for me this was the beginning of a journey not only in miles but within my soul. M.S. was not going to chip away at the person I was becoming as it had with the person I once had been. As we began to descend at Heathrow International Airport, I peered out the tiny window seeing the yellow hue of the lampposts dancing across the landscape of England. Once on the ground and through customs, I was met by Ikey and Jane. After a much welcomed hug from both of them, my first question was "Can I light up a smoke now"?  Jane placed the luggage in their car, and we were off to Hampshire. As we travelled the motorway I marvelled at the scenery. Unlike America, there were no strip malls or shops but rather green grass, sheep and trees.  Before going to Ikey and Jane's home, they brought me to the Headley Park Hotel. Where we enjoyed a few drinks, celebrated Ikey's Birthday and met a few of their friends.
    Friday morning having no idea of what the plans were except for the JJ party, Jane asked me to pack a small bag as we were off to Ross-On-Wye to stay with Ikey's sister and family and to meet up with Mel, Ronnie, Brian, Mary and Sheila. Nique would be arriving that afternoon from Scotland. We arrived in Ross-On-Wye late afternoon and were greeted by Ikey's sister, Maureen and husband, David. After being shown where we would be staying, we sat in their back garden drinking snacking as Maureen and  David were busy preparing what was to be a dinner party none of us would soon forget.  A two piece jazz band set up in the conservatory, and played  while we basked in the awe of this delightful evening. I looked around seeing nothing but smiles, hearing nothing but soft music and laughter, as the sun set beyond the meadows.

   Saturday, the big day! Peanut (Jenn) arrived and once again we were in cars on our way to Birmingham. Arriving at the The Hilton Birmingham Metopole, neither Nique, peanut nor myself had been advised by Ikey to reserve a room. For whatever reason we had assumed after the party we would be going back to Ikey and Jane's home. Standing next to a pillar, I was pleasantly surprised to meet someone I actually knew! It was Lolli from Australia. We kissed and hugged, and I excused myself to have an emergency pow wow with Nique and peanut.  Deciding we needed to reserve a room, I worked my way to the que as peanut hunted down poor Ikey to ask if he had thought to book us a room, as he had said he would handle everything once we had arrived. He had not, but more importantly there was more on Ikey 's mind, where would the beer and wine be stored? Our room booked and feeling quite proud of myself for handling this little crisis, we headed to the lounge where the anticipation for the party engulfed the air. As Ronnie had said, "If the Hilton staff expected 200 sick and self pitying group that evening, boy were they surprised!" 
    

The Tenth Birthday Party to celebrate not only the chat room but to honour Jooly was a brilliant backdrop to what was really being celebrated that evening. Jooly's little idea ten years ago had not only accomplished in creating a place where fellow Multiple Sclerosis sufferers could chat but her site had successfully weaved together a blanket of colourful characters who were determined to be the best they could be emerging as a family. A family that had saved money and or prayed that here would be no relapses in order to honour the woman who had threaded the needle.
     From invisible symptoms, canes, walkers and scooters the dance floor was full.  Friends holding other friends up swaying to the beat of the music, laughter, smiles... Yes for a moment time had stood still and MS forgotten. Jooly stood and gave her heartfelt speech bringing tears to many a eye. As the party came to an end, many of us were not ready to let this night slip away.  We overtook the lounge leaving no seat vacant.  The rug became a place to claim  as we continued to celebrate not only Jooly but friendships that the chat room had created. As time past, tiredness began settling in, and slowly we all headed to our rooms.  heads resting upon pillows we all knew we had been part of a magical evening.

     Sunday morning after breakfast and after many good byes, Peanut, who could only manage to stay until Monday was Ikey's prime concern.  He had asked her what she had wanted to see before heading home, and she answered, "everything". That being an impossible feat, Peanut settled on seeing London. Once in London, to Ikey's dismay all roads leading to the main attractions had been closed. He drove us all over, finally finding the road to where the London Eye was located open. He asked Jane to accompany us. Jane got the tickets and before we knew it, we were standing in one of the compartments. The view was breathtaking! Here we were actually looking out at the River Thames, seeing the Tower bridge, the top of the palace and the lovely landscape of London. Ikey had parked the car and  never complained about the hours he had spent in the car, enabling us to sight see. Seeing London was fantastic. I found myself trying to compare it to New York City, which was impossible.  Traffic may have been similar but the narrow roads, and round about enmeshed among statues, gardens, parks, shops and restaurants left me in a state of awe. After peanut had flown back to America, Ikey, Jane, Nique and I were once again on the road back to Ross-On-Wye. On the way, Ikey drove us through Jane Austin Country, where Nique and I visited her home. Being a fan of her writing, I found the artefacts, and memorabilia fascinating.  Once outside, Nique and I were impressed with the garden. Both having cameras, neither of us took a photo of the garden, but rather photos of each other standing outside the Jane Austin House. Could this have been a shared MS moment? 

      During that week, Ikey and Jane took Nique and I to Gloucester.  There we visited the Gloucester Cathedral. Entering the doorway, one couldn't help but feel the presence of the past all around. I felt alive! Here within the glorious historic Cathedral, my eyes wandered looking every which way, trying to take mental photos of the nave, the Great East Window and all that could be seen. Walking on headstones noticing the names on most were no longer legible I was intrigued at who I was standing on, what was their life like? Was it nobility or middle class? Questions and thoughts spun around in my mind as we strolled throughout the Cathedral. We also learned that scenes from the "Harry Potter movies were filmed there because the cloisters resembled what author, J. K. Rowling's envisioned what the school of wizards would look like. We also toured the historical Gloucester Docks, where Nique and I were fortunate to have Ikey spot a man in uniform and have him agree to a photo. The air smelled so pure, as Jane and  Nique wheeled Ikey and I all over Gloucester. Even being pushed didn't bother me on this day.  This was as close to perfection as any day could be.

     After Nique headed back to Scotland, I felt a piece of us was now missing. Ronnie felt it also so, and even though it was pouring, we drove into the village of Ross-On-Wye, and went shopping. Like children, we splashed through puddles, making our way in and out of the shops. Soaked to the bone we found a cafe and had coffee. Back at the house, we took off our wet clothes climbed into our jammies and I took a nap.  When I awakened, I learned Ronnie had called Maureen and David to let them know we wouldn't be making into their home for dinner. Instead, Ronnie made a platter of pate', cheeses, and bread. Mel poured wine and put a movie on
about Welsh miners. Lying about sipping wine and "grazing" a word Ronnie had taught me was splendid.  What could be better than sharing an evening like this with such wonderful friends. Even now, when Ronnie and I catch each other on line, we can't help but return to that Saturday we spent in the rain.

      As I mentioned in the beginning, this trip to England was more than a holiday or going to a party. This trip help me realize I am blessed with a wonderful husband, friends who are truly family to me and I no longer need to be afraid to make plans. I don't have to be disheartened that I sometimes depend on others in order to feel independent. I have learned that although MS did chip away at the old me, I have to admit I like the new me better!  The new me welcomes challenges and hope for tomorrow.  The new me sees all the opportunities just waiting to be fulfilled.  No, I'm far from perfect and have my bad days, but I've learned at the end of this journey to England a new beginning is just around the corner waiting to be fulfilled.
 

                                         

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